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  A Lover’s Lament

  Copyright © 2015 by KL. Grayson and BT Urruela

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Cover Photographer: RLS Model Images Photography

  Cover Designer: Okay Creations

  Editor: S.G. Thomas

  KL Grayson Bio Pic Photographer: Elisabeth Wiseman Photography

  BT Urruela Bio Pic Photographer: RLS Model Images Photography

  Formatting by Champagne Formats

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Playlist

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Epilogue

  Epilogue

  Contact Information

  Just For Tonight

  Acknowledgements - KL Grayson

  Acknowledgements - BT Urruela

  About the Authors

  We would like to extend our deepest gratitude to all of the service men and women of the United States military and their loved ones. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your sacrifice.

  A Lover’s Lament Playlist

  Prologue: “Cross That Line” – Joshua Radin

  Chapter 1: “Gone Too Soon” – Simple Plan

  Chapter 2: “Even My Dad Does Sometimes” – Ed Sheeran

  Chapter 3: “Warrior” – Evans Blue

  Chapter 4: “Weight of the World” – Young Guns

  Chapter 5: “Sad” – Maroon 5

  Chapter 6: “Slow Dancing In A Burning Room” – John Mayer

  Chapter 7: “Be Still” – The Fray

  Chapter 8: “Lover, You Should Have Come Over” – Jeff Buckley

  Chapter 9: “Fight Song” – Rachel Platten

  Chapter 10: “Existentialism on Prom Night” – Straylight Run

  Chapter 11: “Breathe Again”—Sara Bareilles

  Chapter 12: “How To Save A Life” – The Fray

  Chapter 13: “The Fear In Love” – Don’t Look Down

  Chapter 14: “Fall” – Ed Sheeran

  Chapter 15: “The Proof of Your Love” – For King and Country

  Chapter 16: “From Where You Are” – Lifehouse

  Chapter 17: “Fighting My Way Back” – After Midnight Project

  Chapter 18: “We Can Try”—Between The Trees

  Chapter 19: “If It Means a Lot to You” – A Day To Remember

  Chapter 20: “Carry On”—fun

  Chapter 21: “Break Your Plans”—The Fray

  Chapter 22: “I’d Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About” – Mayday Parade

  Chapter 23: “A Thousand Years”—Christina Perri

  Chapter 24: “How Long Will I Love You”—Ellie Goulding

  Chapter 25: “Body In A Box” – City & Colour

  Chapter 26: “Arms”—Christina Perri

  Chapter 27: “Between The Raindrops”—Lifehouse ft Natasha Bedingfield

  Chapter 28: “Tiger Lily” – Matchbook Romance

  Chapter 29: “She Is Love”—Parachute

  Chapter 30: “Set Fire to the Third Bar” – Snow Patrol

  Chapter 31: “Not About Angels” – Birdy

  Chapter 32: “Awake and Alive” – Skillet

  Epilogue Katie: “You And Me”—Lifehouse

  Epilogue Devin: “This Year’s Love” – David Gray

  1996

  “Cross That Line” – Joshua Radin

  “KATIE—JESUS.” MY TONGUE SWIRLS around Devin’s nipple, effectively cutting him off midsentence, and when I nip at it playfully, a low growl rumbles from his chest. I smile against his skin, loving that I have this effect on him. Palms flat against his stomach, I push up to see Devin’s green eyes glowing under the dull light of the moon. When I reach for the hem of my shirt, his gaze follows.

  “There’s something I need … something that we …” His words trail off, his lips parting as I grip the flimsy material and lift it over my head. My heart is racing with nervousness and anticipation. I’ve never done this before, and even though I feel safe and treasured with Devin, I’m still a nervous wreck. I may be a virgin, but he most certainly is not.

  “What was that?” I let my shirt fall, and Devin’s eyes flit between my eyes and chest.

  “I, uh … I’m …” With a quick flick of the wrist, I unclasp my bra. Devin blows out a slow breath and then swallows hard before attempting to finish his thought. “It’s just that …” My bra joins my shirt in a pile on the floor. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he breathes.

  I palm my breasts, rubbing my thumbs over my nipples, and Devin’s eyes flare with desire. Strong, warm hands slide up my bare thighs, kissing the bottom of my skirt before sneaking underneath. Slowly, he hooks a finger in my panties and tugs them to the side before slipping it inside of me.

  His touch is intoxicating, sucking me in, drowning me in a level of intimacy that I’m not at all used to. Overwhelmed with emotion, I swallow past my heart that is planted firmly in my throat, and my eyes drift shut as the weight of this moment—the moment I’m certain I’ve spent the last two years waiting for—sinks in.

  Devin and I met on the first day of first grade. He stole my Barbie pencil, I cried like a little girl—well, because I was one—and then, forever the peacemaker, my friend Wyatt stole it back. The next day on the playground, Devin pushed me down and walked away laughing. But what he didn’t know was that my crying fit the day before was merely nerves on the first day of school. I was a tomboy, ready and willing to play dirty, even if I was wearing a dress. Pushing up from the ground, I ran after him as fast as my little legs would carry me and I plowed right into his back, tossing us both to the ground.

  When it was all said and done, Devin had a split lip, my knee was all sorts of ripped up, and at the ripe age of six years old, I’d earned my first trip to the principal’s office.

  Side by side, Devin and I sat in tiny orange chairs against the wall. “Ya busted my lip.” His words caught me off-guard and I looked over at him. He was smiling a big toothless smile, and I couldn’t help but grin. It’s quite possible that he stole a piece of my heart that day, even if the concept would remain foreign to me for several more y
ears.

  At the age of fifteen, I finally admitted to myself that I, Katie Devora, was head over heels in love with Devin Clay. And it wasn’t until two and a half years later—three months shy of my eighteenth birthday, and a measly two weeks ago—that I built up enough nerve to tell Devin how I felt. He had me pinned against his truck, mouth slanted over mine, before I finished giving him all of the reasons we should take our friendship to the next level.

  A low moan rips through the air, and when I realize it actually came from my mouth, my eyes snap open, slowly regaining focus. My skirt is bunched around my waist and Devin’s hand is lodged between my legs while the other holds a tight grip on my hip. As my ragged breathing slows, my body and mind floating back to earth, something akin to worship flashes in his eyes.

  “Katie—”

  “Don’t.” I shake my head. My body is vibrating with pleasure, and I need this more than I’ve ever needed anything. “Please don’t stop.” I won’t survive if you stop.

  “Fuck, no,” Devin breathes. “I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.” Thank you, sweet baby Jesus. It’s sad really, but a whimper falls from my mouth when Devin removes his hand from between my thighs. Cupping my face in his hands, he pulls me to him, brushing his lips against mine. “I want this, Katie, more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but I know you’re…” His eyes soften, pleading with me to understand what he’s saying so he doesn’t have to actually say it. “It’s just that I need to know you want this … with me.”

  Doesn’t he know how much he means to me? Haven’t I told him time and time again that the two of us together is so incredibly perfect that even my dreams couldn’t conjure up anything better?

  Then it hits me. Everything Devin has told me about his relationship with his mom and the way she’s treated him, tearing him down, little by little. He needs to know that I want him and only him, to be reassured that he’s not only worthy but deserving of something this perfect. And if that’s what he needs, I’m more than willing to not only tell him how much I love him but show him as well.

  Falling forward, my palms land flat on the bed on either side of his head. Slipping from my shoulders, my hair falls down, sheathing us in our own little cocoon. “I can’t imagine doing this with anyone but you. You’re my dream, Dev. This … this is my dream.”

  “Katie.” My name may be just one word falling from his lips, but it’s the way he says it, like it’s a prayer that he just realized was answered. Devin closes his eyes as though he’s fighting his own emotions, and when he opens them, they’re glistening with an intense amount of desire, excitement, adoration and love. But the one thing that’s shining through the most is happiness.

  “Let me show you that I want this just as much—if not more—than you do,” I whisper. Popping the button on his jeans, I slowly unzip them. My fingers skim along his waist before dipping into his jeans, where I find him thick and heavy. I wrap my fingers around him and Devin sucks in a ragged breath. I watch his eyes flit between my hand and my face as though they can’t decide where to land. “You’re more than my best friend—you’re it for me, Dev. You’re my soul mate. You hold my heart in your hands.”

  Strong words, I know, but they don’t come close to scratching the surface of what I feel for him—of the bond we share.

  In the blink of an eye, my hand is ripped from his pants and my body is flipped through the air until I’m flat on my back. Damn that was hot.

  Propping myself up on my elbows, I blow a chunk of hair out of my face in time to see Devin’s pants and boxers fall at his feet. Without breaking eye contact, he crawls his way up the bed. My hips lift instinctively when his hands grip my skirt, allowing him to pull it, along with my panties, down my legs. He tosses them aside without a second glance and his mouth finds mine, hot and fast.

  Our tongues duel, battling for control, and right about the time I’m preparing to surrender, he pulls back, scattering kisses across my jaw. “This is happening,” he murmurs. “You and me, Katie.” My eyes drift shut when his mouth trails down my neck, across my collarbone, and to one breast and then the other. “You’re so beautiful. You’re an angel—my angel.” Looking down, I watch him cup one breast in his hand while his mouth attacks the other.

  “You have no idea what you do to me, Katie. No idea how you make me feel.”

  Threading my fingers into his thick black hair, I hold him to me as his lips continue their torturous path down my body. He’s moving slow—too slow—and I fight the urge to just shove him where I need him. It’s no longer a want … I need this man. “I think I have an idea.” My breath catches on the last syllable when his mouth descends on my clit.

  Finally!

  My body is on fire, strung as tight as it can go. I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I’m so worked up I can hardly stand it. Each caress of his tongue is electric, sending thousands of volts of lightning straight through my body. Pressure builds low in my belly and I know I won’t last long. “Can’t,” I pant. “I can’t take anymore.”

  My words only spur him on. Devin’s mouth is relentless, the pad of his tongue even more so. I moan, dropping my head back to the bed before deciding that the view of his ceiling isn’t near as exciting. Propping myself back up on an elbow, I watch Devin with hooded eyes. His broad shoulders are pressed against my thighs, his head buried, and when he glances up, his emerald eyes devour me at nearly the same intensity his mouth does. His gaze is unyielding, it’s yearning, and I beg him to give me a reprieve. “Please. Oh, god.”

  Determination flashes in his eyes right before I squeeze mine shut. My body is at its breaking point, and I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to last. When the first waves of pleasure crash into me, I tighten my grip on his hair, a deep moan falling from my mouth. He continues to suck and tease, pushing my body further than it’s ever gone, and he doesn’t stop until he’s robbed my body of all of its bones. I’m nothing more than a big pile of Jell-O, sated to the point of immobility.My heart pounds in my chest, and I fight to open my eyes as Devin removes himself from between my legs. Sitting back on his haunches, he reaches for his jeans and grabs something out of his pocket.

  “May I?” he asks, his eyes hopeful.

  Cupping his cheek in my hand, I push up until our lips are molded together. I can taste myself on his lips and it’s surprisingly erotic. “I’ve already given myself to you, Devin, you just didn’t know it. This … this wraps it all up in a nice little bow.”

  He nips at my lower lip. “I like bows.” He smiles, kissing me once … twice … and a third time before pulling back. With a quick motion, he tears open a wrapper, and without breaking eye contact, he slowly unrolls the condom over his erection, which is bobbing heavily between his legs.

  My tongue darts out, sliding across my lips, parting them as Devin’s mouth fuses to mine. This kiss is sweet, slow and incredibly sensual. It’s not the kiss of two young lovers; it’s the kiss of two soul mates exploring each other for the very first time. We kiss until my lips are numb and my body is thrumming with so much energy that I think I might go insane.

  Pulling his mouth from mine, Devin props himself up on his forearms, my head cradled in his hands, his cock nestled between my legs. If he doesn’t do this soon, I just might scream. “I love you, Katie.”

  His words wrap themselves around my heart, which suddenly feels too large for my chest, and I fight the pressure building behind my eyes. “I love you more.”

  “Impossible.” He smiles, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “I’ll be gentle, baby, I promise.” I nod and Devin slips his hand between our bodies, aligning himself at my entrance. “If it’s too much or it hurts, tell me, okay?”

  “Okay.” Running a hand along his neck, I thread my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and tug him toward me while simultaneously shoving my hips upward. His warm, sweet breath fans across my face as he slides into me for the first time. A tiny surge of pain rips through me, but it’s quickly replaced with even greater
pleasure.

  I arch my back, pressing my body into his, our hips rocking in perfect rhythm as I try desperately to remember every single detail. Devin’s body is as hard as a rock, his muscles flexing and bending under the weight of my hands. I can feel his heart beating wildly inside of his chest, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s doing the same thing … memorizing this … memorizing me.

  “Katie,” he growls, burying his face in my neck. “I’m not going to last long. This—too much,” he pants, thrusting into me one last time before his body goes rigid above mine. His eyes close and a strangled moan rumbles from his chest. He rocks into me several more times, riding out the wave of his orgasm, and my arms lock around his shoulders, holding him to me.

  “That was amazing.” My fingers trail up and down his back, and I feel him smile against my neck.

  “Amazing?” he chuckles. “I was going for earth-shattering … life-altering … mind-blowing—”

  “Trust me,” I mumble, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “It was all of those things too.”

  “Oh yeah?” He pushes up, his eyes smiling along with his mouth. I love seeing him smile, happy and carefree.

  “Yeah. I don’t want to move.”

  “So don’t,” he says, rolling us over so I’m draped across his chest. “Let’s stay here, right like this.”

  “Forever.” Curling my body around his, I take a deep, sated breath, loving the blissful state I seem to have found myself in. Closing my eyes, I listen to the beat of Devin’s heart as it plays me the sweetest lullaby.

  A loud knock startles me awake and I blink heavily. Lifting my head, I find Devin rubbing his eyes and I realize that we must have dozed off.

  “Hi.” His voice is husky from sleep and a grin pulls at the corner of my mouth.

  “Hi,” I whisper. A loud knock sounds again and we both turn our heads toward the door.

  “Please tell me you locked your front door.”

  “Of course.” He kisses my nose and rolls off the bed, and I instantly miss the feel of his body against mine. “I locked the bedroom door too, just in case.”

  “You know,” I say, smiling wryly. “We could just cancel the party and stay here.” Devin jumps on the bed, bouncing my body, and I giggle when he peppers kisses down my neck.