Crazy Sexy Love (A Dirty Dicks Novel) Read online

  Last night was horrible. I didn’t sleep a wink. I spent the entire time tossing and turning, replaying our fight in my head. I kept coming back to the last thing I said to him.

  “I don’t want to see you again.”

  I’ve learned the hard way that tomorrow isn’t promised, and things can change in an instant. I would hate myself forever if something happened to Rhett and those were my last words to him. I was pissed, but I didn’t mean them. Rhett was once a big part of my life, and as much as I hate to admit it, I enjoyed seeing him yesterday.

  “That for me?” I ask as I approach.

  “That depends. You still mad at me?”

  “If I tell you no can I have the coffee?”

  Rhett takes a deep breath and looks at the cup in his hand.

  I’ve seen a lot of emotions in Rhett over the years. When we were little, I saw him cry and scream, throw tantrums that were out of this world, and when we grew up I saw him laugh and goof off, and after we became intimate, I saw so much love and affection. But not once did I see this look. I’ve never seen regret on his face until now.

  I take a step forward, and he looks up, his bright blue eyes swirling with apologies.

  “You can have the coffee regardless, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to apologize. I don’t want you to be mad at me, Mo.” He hands over the cup.

  I take it, blow across the top, and take a sip. “I’m listening.”

  “I was an asshole last night. Despite how I feel about you and our past, I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

  “What you said hurt me, but I said some hurtful things too.”

  “Don’t.” He shakes his head and looks down. “Don’t apologize for what you said. You didn’t do anything wrong. Last night is all on me.”

  “Apology accepted.” I take another sip of my coffee, wishing I had a shot of whiskey to throw in it. “Although I still feel terrible.”

  My words hang in the air, floating around us while I try to decide if I should say more.

  “Why do I have the feeling we’re talking about more than what happened last night?” he says, finally looking up at me.

  The cup freezes on the way to my mouth. “Maybe we are talking about the past, and maybe you don’t know as much about it as you think you do.”

  Rhett blows out a breath. “Mo, there are so many things we need to talk about.”

  He’s right, there are. The only problem—I’m not sure he’s ready for what I have to say. “I know. Just not today, okay? I’ve got a ton of work to do, and you’ve got therapy.”

  His gaze remains steady. “I don’t know how to move forward without talking about the past.”

  “I don’t either. Maybe we don’t move forward. Not yet at least. Maybe, for now, we just agree to be civil, friendly. We’ve always been good at that.”

  “We’ve been good at a lot more than being friendly.” Rhett leans in close, and I’ll be damned if my stomach doesn’t start to flutter. “The connection we share is still here, Mo. I know you feel it.”

  “Oh, I feel it. But I’m surprised you do.”

  He steps back. “I’m starting to realize I might not have much of a choice.”

  Don’t I know it. “Just because we feel it doesn’t mean we need to act on it.”

  He nods. “Because we’ve got things to discuss, and until then—”

  “Until then we’re friendly acquaintances,” I answer for him. “Who bring each other gifts.” I look down at the bag between his legs. “Is that what I think it is?”

  “If you think it’s a peace offering in the form of donuts from the bakery, then yes, it’s what you think it is.”

  I grab the bag, unlock the door to Animal Haven, and lead him inside. “I accept your peace offering, and I’ll gladly take a donut or two before I start my day. I overslept and forgot to eat breakfast.”

  “I didn’t sleep well either,” he says, wryly.

  My dog, Ruby, saunters out of the back room to greet us and Rhett’s eyes grow wide. Lowering himself, Rhett holds out a hand and waits patiently for her arthritic legs to carry her across the room.

  I watch Ruby approach him and my mind drifts back to the day she became a part of our family. Dad picked her up off the side of the road. She was a gangly puppy. He nursed her back to health and instead of adopting her out, we kept her. She’s not as lively as she once was. Years of running around Animal Haven with the other animals have taken a toll on her hips. Her black and brown patchy face has faded to a dull silver. Her big brown eyes are still bright, but they’re also tired.

  She stops in front of Rhett’s hand and takes a whiff. Her tail starts wagging, and she pushes her nose into his hand.

  “Hey, pretty girl.” Rhett gives Ruby a nice long rub down. “You remember me, don’t you? I can’t believe you still have her,” he says, looking up. “I didn’t see her when I was here yesterday.”

  “She was inside. Duke and Diesel are a little too hyper for her.”

  He nods and looks back at Ruby. “She’s got to be what, ten?”

  “Twelve.”

  Rhett pets Ruby for as long as she’ll allow. He whispers soft words into her floppy ear. Eventually she gets tired of standing and walks off.

  “Let’s eat.” I kick out a chair for Rhett to sit in and take the one next to it. I lay some napkins on the desk and pull out a donut for each of us.

  “Does Ruby still live here, or do you take her home every night?”

  “She lives here. I tried to bring her home with me a few years ago, but she hated it. She would sit in front of the door and cry for hours, refusing to eat or sleep. I eventually brought her back out here.”

  “This is her home.”

  I nod and take a bite. We eat quietly side by side, and although the air is thick with tension, it’s not uncomfortable. It feels distantly familiar. It feels good.

  “Where are Duke and Diesel?” he asks, licking icing off of his finger.

  I’ve only had those dogs for a few days, and they already feel like mine. It’s going to suck handing those babies back over. “I left them at my house while I do morning chores. Duke was still sleeping.”

  Rhett laughs. “That dog is going to sleep his life away. He snores so loud too.”

  I smile. “He does! And he farts in his sleep.” I make a face. “I made him sleep in the living room because he stunk up my bedroom.”

  “You had them in your bedroom?” He looks surprised.

  “Of course I did. It’s like having two big body pillows with built-in heaters—until one farts. Then all bets are off.”

  “Please tell me you didn’t let them in bed with you.” There’s a smile in his eyes.

  “Okay, I won’t tell you.”

  He laughs. “You did! You totally let them in bed with you. Now they’re going to want to sleep with me.”

  We look at each other, a comfortable warmth settling between us, and for a moment it feels as though our past is just a bad dream. For just a second, we’re nothing but old friends having breakfast and laughing, without a care in the world.

  “You mean you don’t already sleep with them?”

  “Hell no,” he says. “They hog the damn bed, and I end up on the floor. I make them sleep in their own beds.”

  “Well,” I say sweetly, “that’s probably about to change.”

  Rhett shakes his head. “If I can’t get them out of my bed, I’ll be calling your ass to take care of it.”

  “Deal.” I finish my donut in three bites.

  “Do you want me to send Cooper over to get the dogs after lunch?”

  I furrow my brows and then remember what I said last night about dropping them off. “No, I’ll keep them. I was just mad.”

  “You sure? Because it’s really not a problem. I know they’re a lot of work.”

  “They’re really not. I’ve enjoyed having them around. I’ll miss them when they’re gone.”

  Rhett watches me, but he doesn’t say anything as he finishes his don
ut.

  “Do you want the last one?” I ask, offering him the bag.

  He shakes his head. “You eat it.”

  I roll the top of the bag down and put it in the center of my desk. “I have a ton of work to do, but I’ll save it for a snack.”

  “Where are you going?”

  Tugging on my gloves, I turn around and walk backward toward the front door. “Time to muck some stalls. No rush, though. Finish your coffee and let yourself out when you’re done.”

  Except he doesn’t finish his coffee at all; he follows me outside and looks around. “I can help. Physical therapy isn’t for another few hours, and if I go home, I’ll just park myself in front of Coop’s TV.”

  “Mucking stalls probably isn’t on the list of activities you should perform with a shoulder injury. And Tess is coming out later to give me a hand.”

  Reaching toward his back, Rhett pulls off the sling. “I can do something else. Something less strenuous. It’s strained, not destroyed.”

  “Funny, because I swear Coop told me it was torn.”

  Shaking his head, Rhett smiles. “Coop has a big mouth. There’s a small tear. I can still move it; I just have to be careful. But the rest of me is fine.” He holds his good arm out to the side. “I’m sure there’s something I can help you with that won’t ruin my shoulder.”

  Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I look around.

  “You could get the dogs some fresh water,” I say, nodding to the green hose on the ground by the fence. “Pull it around back.”

  “Okay. I can do that.”

  I’ve never seen a man look so happy to be given a chore. With a smile on his face, Rhett grabs the hose and gets to work.

  By the time I finish cleaning out the horse stalls and laying down a fresh bed of shavings, Rhett is standing at his car, adjusting the sling on his arm.

  “You okay?” I ask, peeling off my gloves. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t hurt myself.” He rolls his eyes. “You sound like my mother.”

  “Your mother is a very smart woman. I happen to be very fond of Vivian, so I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “She’s fond of you too,” he says.

  We stare at each other as our history swirls around us.

  I can’t do anything but stare into Rhett’s eyes and remember how it felt to be with him.

  To kiss him.

  To touch him.

  To be loved by him.

  But those feelings came with a heavy price, and I have to stay strong.

  He finally clears his throat and breaks the spell. “I watered the dogs, gave them each a scoop of food, and let them run for a little bit.”

  “Thank you, that’s a huge help.”

  Stuffing his hand in his pocket, Rhett retrieves his keys. “I should get going. Don’t want to be late for my first PT appointment.”

  “Good luck.”

  “Thanks.”

  He opens the car door and turns to look at me.

  “Mo, I’m sorry about your dad,” he says softly. “I knew he had a stroke, but I didn’t find out until last night how badly he was affected. If I’d known, I would’ve come back, even after…”

  His lingering words slice through me, hitting something deep in my gut, and I have to stop for a second to catch my breath. He doesn’t want to say it out loud; I can tell by the heartache on his face.

  “Even after I told you I slept with Charlie.” I choose my words carefully because I promised myself that moving forward, I’d always speak the truth. No more lies, even if they’re meant to protect myself or someone I love.

  “Thank you, Rhett. That means a lot.”

  “See you tomorrow, Mo.”

  I tilt my head. “Tomorrow?”

  “I told you I’d come by Friday.”

  “Oh, right.” So much shit has happened in the last twenty-four hours, I completely forgot. “You don’t have to.”

  “I know, but I want to.”

  Monroe

  I force myself to walk across the yard before I glance back toward Rhett. His vehicle nears the end of the lane and stops. I hold my breath, waiting to see what he’s going to do, secretly hoping that he forgot something—me, maybe—and would have to turn around.

  Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Rhett flicks on his blinker and pulls onto the highway. A second later Tess’s little red car turns down the lane.

  Tess Walker moved to town a few years back. She runs the floral shop on Broadway, a few businesses down from Dirty Dicks, and volunteers here during her free time. And on Sundays so I can have a day off. So, pretty much, she’s an angel. She’s become an integral part of my life and she’s a regular on the rare occasions Claire and I manage a night out.

  Ruby whimpers at my side. Letting out a slow breath, I reach in my pocket to grab a treat. I squat down and hold out the bone shaped biscuit. Ruby snags it from my fingers. Her body might be slow but her mouth is not.

  “I bet you never thought you’d see Rhett again did ya, girl?” Her ears perk up at the mention of Rhett’s name. “Yeah, I know. You always were a sucker for those Allen boys.”

  Gravel crunches under the weight of Tess’s car as she makes her way down the lane. Tess parks, hops out, and stuff her keys into her pocket.

  “You’re early,” I holler.

  Tess shrugs. “I got tired of painting and decided to call it quits. Are my eyes playing tricks on me, or was that Rhett pulling out of here?”

  “That was Rhett.”

  “Do you want to talk about what he was doing here, or will that require a case of wine? Because I’m not opposed to day drinking.”

  “You drink wine by the case?”

  She gives me a look. “Don’t most people?”

  “No.” I shake my head and chuckle.

  “Don’t knock ‘til you try it.”

  Tess doesn’t know much about my relationship with Rhett, the same way I don’t know much about what brought her to Heaven three years ago.

  “I’ll tell you about Rhett if you tell me why you moved to Heaven.”

  Her smile fades. “If your story requires a case of wine, then mine requires several large bottles of tequila.”

  “I actually have a bottle of tequila in the office,” I offer, curious to learn more.

  “As tempting as that is, I’m going to pass. That’s a time in my life I’d rather not think about let alone talk about.”

  “Maybe one of these days we’ll confide in each other.”

  She doesn’t look convinced. “Maybe.”

  “Well, I guess since we’re not going to get drunk and spill all of our secrets we might as well get to work.”

  Tess laughs and falls in step beside me as we walk into Animal Haven. “It’s a sad day when we’d rather shovel shit than talk about our past,” I say.

  She sighs. “Don’t I know it.”

  “Hey, sweet boy.” I step into an enclosure and sit down next to an overweight black cat. Pickles lifts his head when I set a bowl of cat food in front of him. He sniffs his gourmet meal, takes a few bites, and then looks away.

  “Come on, you have to be hungry.” I lift the big ball of fur onto my lap hoping a little love might entice him. “You haven’t eaten in three days. I’ll make you a deal… If you clean your plate tonight, I’ll give you some tuna tomorrow. I know how much you love tuna.”

  Pickles looks pleased with the offer. Hopping out of my lap, he winds his way around my ankles—the first time he’s initiated any form of affection toward me—and my heart leaps with joy.

  Rescues come and go, it’s the part of the job, but some are hard to let go of. Pickles is one of them. Three times now I could’ve adopted him out. Who knew fat cats were a hot commodity? But, I couldn’t do it.

  “Meow.”

  “Fine, you can have wet food, but just this one time.”

  I grab a can of wet cat food from the supply closet and when I return, Pickles is creeping toward the door of his cage.
“Oh, no you don’t.” I gently guide him back into the pen. “Tomorrow you’re eating your dry food first,” I say, peeling the top off. I plop the food into his bowl and when I turn around Pickles makes a mad dash for the open door.

  Ruby barks and pickles skids to a halt.

  Ears laid flat, he hisses and I scoop him up. “This is why I can’t let you roam free. You’re mean to the other animals,” I whisper, nuzzling his head. “One of these days you’ll learn that there are perks to playing nice.”

  I’ve tried letting Pickles roam around Animal Haven the way Ruby does. My hope was that he’d get along with the other animals and I could make him a resident pet. Unfortunately, he failed each and every test. Not only does Pickles hiss and spit at every dog he sees, he doesn’t seem particularly fond of the other cats either.

  I set Pickles down next to his food bowl and rub his head. “Eat.”

  He plops down in front of his bowl. Craning his neck to the side, he sticks out his tongue and manages to snag a bite of food.

  “Ruby, that’s what we call lazy.”

  “Woof.”

  Using my knee, I nudge Ruby out of the way and shut the door to the cage, making sure it’s locked before I turn away.

  “Come on. One animal down, twelve more to go.”

  The closest humane society is over an hour away in Houston which makes Animal Haven the go-to when there’s a stray or rescue animal. On average, we house anywhere from twenty to thirty animals although the facility is built to hold many more. A great turn out at the last adoption fair left us with the lowest census I’ve seen in a long time. Oddly enough, a lower number of mouths to feed doesn’t make my job easier.

  With Ruby by my side I let the friendly, well-adjusted animals into the fenced in yard to play. The grumpy ones aren’t so lucky. They remain separated and I go from pen to pen giving each of them one on one attention.

  “Mo?”

  “Yeah?” I look up when Tess walks in.

  “You’ve got someone here to see you.”